Ascent Healing

Hi. Happy Sunday! Today I want to talk about the 2 types of relaxation techniques. In my opinion, most relaxation techniques can be categorized into 2 types: techniques that help you focus on the present moment, or techniques that take you away from the present moment. There will be times in your life that it doesn’t matter what type you use, but sometimes you need to ‘go away’ from the present moment. An example of this is when I’m at the dentist. I hate the dentist. So if I did a mindfulness exercise like the one I blogged about 2 weeks ago, and focused on the present moment, that would make the situation worse!!! I would be focusing on my 5 senses and thus hear the drill, feel more pain, smell more of the office and that equals = panic attack. So in that situation, I need to use a technique like the one below.

SAFE/CALM PLACE

To do this popular technique, also called a ‘happy place’, you think about a very happy memory. You can also think of something you really like to do. Examples of things that most of my clients pick are the beach, hiking, camping, skiing, or teenagers frequently pick hanging out with their friends. Memories people often pick are going to concerts, meeting celebrities at FanX, time spent with family, etc.

Now that you have picked a favorite memory or thing you like to do, describe it to yourself in as much detail as you can. Ask yourself the following questions: What do you see? What colors are there? Are there trees, people, buildings, objects you can see? What do you hear? Think of every sound you remember. What do you smell? Are there food or nature smells? Do you taste anything? What do you feel? Is it warm or cool? Can you remember if you are sitting or standing? What does the ground or chair (if you are sitting) feel like? Is there a breeze? Are you inside or outside? What season is it or time of day? The more specific you can describe your scene, the more real it will feel to you. As you remember it, be like a narrator in your mind and list off every detail. Notice what you are feeling as you remember your memory or favorite thing to do. Just notice the feeling. Don’t try to force it.

If you are trying this exercise and negative emotions or images keep coming up, you might have to try a different memory or scene. The one you are using might have some unprocessed material that goes with it. Take note of that to journal about later, and try a different scene.

It is normal, especially at first, no matter what type of relaxation technique you use, for your mind to wander. These techniques are skills and like any skill, they take practice. I hope you won’t try it only once and then conclude this isn’t for you if you struggle focusing. Some days it may be easier to focus than others depending on what is going on for you that day, and no matter what the issue is, practice leads to improvement. Try using these skills when you aren’t upset because if you can’t do the techniques when you aren’t upset, it will be even harder when you are stressed.

The safe place/calm place technique may seem to require you to be able to “see images in your head.” Not everyone can do this. Not everyone’s brain works the same. If you are one of those people who can’t imagine things in their head- do not fear. I have used this technique with people who can’t visualize things with just a few adjustments. If you are into art, draw or paint your memory or activity that calms you. If you aren’t into art, get at least one or more pictures that represent your chosen scene. You can use actual pictures you have taken or find ones that represent it online. Look at the pictures slowly and ask yourself the same questions from the beginning of this section. See if this adjustment helps you be able to do this technique.

I hope this technique works for you and I will see you next week.